my mid 20s....

Last night, I found out that tickets to Coachella were SOLD OUT. This was right AFTER I stood in line for 45 min trying to win them. I have been planning this trip for months, a year even- (since last years Coachella). My best friend in the whole wide world is coming home from Hawaii, we have an RV set up waiting for us and we have 40 bands on our Coachooser (WishList of bands to see during the weekend)…I have all 3 of my outfits picked out, which I bought especially for the occasion. We even calculated the average number of bands that we can see each day (based on previous experience and desire to see the ones on the current lineup), and the number is 7.5! That equals 7.5 bands a day that I will miss! 72 hours with my bestest friend that I won’t have… Needless to say, I have been looking forward to this weekend for a long, long time. Coachella [and time with Brittany] have been the light at the end of the [darkest] tunnel that has been life the last few months….

But I delayed getting a ticket, because my brother promised he could get me a cheaper one, because a “friend of a friend” works for 91X….I was one click away from buying it 2 months ago! I am an idiot. Such AN IDIOT!

So, in the midst of my furious Craigslist, Ebay and StubHub searching last night, one of my best friends (and neighbor) comes over. She began cooking her Gnocci at my house and joined me in watching Gossip Girl. Eventually I sent so many emails to Craigslist Postings that Craigslist banned me for 24 hours!! WTF?

So with my Coachella ticket-searching temporarily on hold, I finally look up and realize that my dear friend has the puffy, red eyes of someone that has been crying…She said she’s come to the realization that her on/off boyfriend/ex-boyfriend is emotionally abusive…She says she is excited about it, because now that it has a label maybe she can finally walk away (but I’m not holding my breath).

Here is the thing, I can’t figure out what is more sad, the fact that my entire life at the moment is revolving around this concert, or the fact that my beautiful friend is crying over someone that absolutely never deserved her. Is this what our 20’s have become? Obsessing over social activities because my love life and career are nowhere near what I wish they were; Or crying over someone you should have never even dated to begin with. Will things ever come together?

I would prefer that I was marrying the love of my life this summer and entering into a PhD program next fall, but those are not the cards I have been dealt. I’ve lost two great loves- one of which I still regret with deep sorrow- I have taken 8+ years to acquire a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree and ALL of my bills are in collections. This summer I will be struggling to make rent, spending most of my spare time drinking and planning my next trip and taking out more loans to fund it.

I just hope that life in my 20’s will build an awesome foundation for my future and I can look back at all my shenanigans with fondness….What I mean, is that I hope this is all worth something in the end. I hope I can really be happy. One day.